Alexandra Parlogea, Founder of Defy.ink – Education, Leadership & Professional Balance

Interview with Alexandra Parlogea, founder of defy.ink, about education, authentic leadership, courageous decisions, and building a balanced professional path.

Alexandra is an HR consultant and the founder of defy.ink, a strategic leadership partner for cultural and creative organizations. With a professional background built at the intersection of education, human resources, and the arts, supported by international certifications such as SHRM-SCP and PrinciplesYou, she works with teams and leaders to create structures and practices that foster performance without limiting creativity. Her experience allows her to navigate seamlessly between operations, people, and diverse cultural contexts. She believes in work driven by purpose, responsibility, and respect for others.

C&B: If we were to look at the narrative thread of your career, what were the key moments that defined you?
Alexandra Parlogea: Looking back, there is a clear common thread, even though it has tangled many times, created loops, or spiraled downward, pushing me to dive deeper into understanding things. If I had to choose one word to define my journey, it would be education.
Education first and foremost as a personal value. The importance of my own learning process and, later on, the desire to contribute to the learning processes of others.

As a child, I spent hours drawing, dancing, browsing through books, or imagining that I would become a teacher or an actress. However, I chose a science-focused high school, perhaps due to a lack of encouragement toward an artistic career, which at the time was seen as unstable and risky.

My degree in Literature and my Master’s in Literary Theory and Comparative Literature were, in many ways, a middle ground: creative enough to allow my imagination to thrive, yet “concrete” enough to lead to a respected profession. I did not remain in formal education, but instead took a lateral step into non-formal education, where I found myself in training, coaching, facilitation, and the development of personal and professional growth programs.

C&B: What has been the most difficult moment in your journey so far, and how did you overcome it?
Alexandra Parlogea: I cannot point to a single moment and call it “the most difficult.” There were several, or perhaps, from this perspective, they no longer seem so hard precisely because they were overcome. I believe you can have regrets and, at the same time, feel deep gratitude for difficult moments, knowing that without them you would not be where you are today.

What has constantly helped me is the habit of looking for the lesson. Asking myself, “What do I have to learn from this?” and staying anchored in my own “why.” My curiosity about what lies beyond obstacles has given me the energy to start over many times, both personally and professionally.

It was not necessarily courage, although I often heard comments like “you’re so brave” (quitting my job, working independently, living and working in India, commuting to Chișinău, moving to Saudi Arabia). Rather, it was a form of clear-minded ownership: choosing to move forward even without guarantees.

C&B: Is there a dream or ambition that has always guided you, regardless of obstacles?
Alexandra Parlogea: Yes. The belief that things can be better. That they can be better together. That we can find win-win solutions.

Whether I built contexts from scratch or joined existing initiatives, I always tried to bring the best I had at that moment, with the honesty to accept that sometimes it is enough, and other times it is only the beginning of a new lesson.

It is a simple principle, but extremely difficult to follow consistently, especially in complex professional environments. That is precisely why I consider it essential and use it as a reference point in my work with people and organizations.

C&B: What were you like at the beginning of your journey, and how do you feel you have changed?
Alexandra Parlogea: At almost 40, I have kept the same thirst for knowledge I had at 20. Some traits have remained unchanged, but they manifest differently because my priorities are different.

Today, in my value system, the balance leans more toward family, friends, and peace of mind than toward status, validation, or hard work. I no longer chase recognition or force my contribution.

I have learned that one of the most valuable things you can “buy” is your own freedom, and that value in organizations is lost in unclear roles, ambiguous decisions, processes that block good work, or unspoken tensions.

C&B: If we met your collaborators, what do you think they would say about you?
Alexandra Parlogea: I would like them to say that my work had a real and positive impact on their organizations. That I quickly understand both business and personal needs, ask the right—sometimes uncomfortable—questions, and provide practical, context-adapted solutions that bring structure without limiting creativity.

C&B: What is the most important decision you have made that changed your trajectory?
Alexandra Parlogea: Every decision has mattered, but one of the most important was choosing not to return to the company I worked for before going on maternity leave. I stayed home with my daughter for two years and, in the middle of the pandemic, chose to give up a secure and well-paid job to explore a new field and deepen my business knowledge.

C&B: How did you build your leadership style and decision-making approach? Was it natural or learned?
Alexandra Parlogea: I learned a lot through role models. I was fortunate to meet people I admired and learned from what authentic leadership means. At the same time, I learned from difficult interactions, clearly understanding what I do not want to do and what kind of leader I do not want to be.

My style is also influenced by my educational path: certifications in HR, training, coaching, and business programs. After each stage, the same thought appears: the more I know, the more I realize how little I know. And I continue. I believe real leadership begins when we aspire to become experts, at least in our own lives. There is no leadership without self-leadership, and no good decisions without awareness.

C&B: What does a typical day look like for you now, and what moments bring you the greatest satisfaction?
Alexandra Parlogea: My greatest joy comes from time spent with my family. Professionally, my daily ritual is simple: good coffee, an open laptop, and a calm review of the day, starting from my calendar planning. Weekends are dedicated to relaxation, as well as reorganization, reflection, and preparation for the coming week. Structure gives me flexibility and mental space and allows me to work more clearly, consciously, and healthily

C&B: What values or principles guide your work, and how do you apply them daily?
Alexandra Parlogea: I believe rules help communities function. But they must be understood, communicated, and adapted. Without dialogue and meaning, rules become mere constraints. And my work is essentially about helping others see this as well. I do not offer standard HR solutions, but clarity-driven interventions that align people, roles, and decisions.

C&B: If you were to share one message with those who follow your example, what would it be?
Alexandra Parlogea: Remember that everyone has their own path. Build a professional journey aligned with your values and the reality of your life. Preserve your identity and personal balance. Don’t stop, don’t give up, do what brings you joy. And do it without harming others.

Alexandra Parlogea’s story shows that authentic professional growth is built through continuous learning, conscious choices, and staying true to personal values. Through courage, reflection, and a strong commitment to creating healthy environments for people and organizations, she inspires a new generation of leaders to pursue their path with clarity, integrity, and balance.